Those Left Behind
by innocent-rebel
Summary: It's easy for Neji to feel alone and forgotten on the anniversary of his father's death. But his sensei isn't about to leave him alone in the rain. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto characters, only original characters are mine and a good friend's.

A/N: Written originally to help me get over writers block awhile ago, I asked a friend of mine what's a story they'd like to see and one of the things they asked for was something with Guy and Neji so this is what came about. Plus they had an awesome Neji line to Guy that this fic is based on and they allowed me to include. This story takes place prior to the chuunin exams. I really hope you enjoy the story for that is why writers write.

X

Rain splattered all around him and Neji's breaths rattled inside his throat as he spun around, his hands extended and launching out in what would have been a fatal blow. He shouldn't be outside right now. Everyone would tell him that it was stupid to be out in this weather. Or at least they would if they cared.

A snarl spread across his face as lightning flashed and the names on the polished black stone were revealed once again. Only one name held any kind of importance to him. The only one it seemed like his clan, his village, wanted to forget.

_"Father? Where are you going?" Neji yelled as he turned the corner and saw his father leaving with an elder on either side of him. The four year old knew he should have stayed in his room, but he wasn't a fool. Something was happening, and his father wouldn't tell him what it was._

_Hizashi sighed looking between the two elders who nodded grimly before he walked back over to Neji with a soft smile._

_"I'm just going to a meeting is all. Something happened last night… something bad. But don't worry. We'll fix it." he rested a hand on Neji's head and small hands instantly grabbed onto it._

_"But why do you have to go? Let Hiashi-sama take care of it. He's the leader." it made perfect sense that his uncle should be the one to deal with anything bad that happened, and leave his father out of it. As far as Neji was concerned, after the incident a few days ago with the seal, his uncle should just leave them alone forever. Him and his whole stupid family._

_Something distant settled in his father's eyes, and Neji saw the elders behind him, frowning. Before he could say anymore though, his father shook his head._

_"He needs my help right now, but I won't be gone for that long." he smiled again, and Neji felt his heartbeat ease. "Just go back to bed, and be good alright? I'll see you in the morning."_

_"I promise I'll be good." he beamed, but couldn't help shooting the others a sour look. He didn't like how they were looking at his dad. How they left with him, and when Hizashi tried to look back, one of them grabbed his hair and kept him moving forward._

_If they hadn't disappeared out the door, Neji would have launched an attack. But he didn't. Instead, he turned to go back to his room to wait for his father._

_Come morning, all he received was a brief explanation. _

"AHHHH!" now twelve years old, Neji slammed his palm as hard as he could against the memorial. Striking at another Hyuuga's name, and spitting on it. Then he whipped around, and crashed the side of his foot against the stone. He could almost hear people screaming at him to stop. People telling him that he was desecrating a sacred spot and the hundreds of lives that were given to ensure peace.

He didn't care though. As far as he was concerned their peace was a joke! They all talked about how great Konoha was. How wonderful and safe, and peaceful. But they never looked at what happened to make it that way. They learned history, but never the stories. They learned names, but never the facts. They only learned of those who willingly gave their lives. Not the ones who were murdered to protect cowards.

_'It should have been his name!'_ Neji inwardly screamed, wanting nothing more than his uncle to be one dead. More than once, he'd entertained ideas of how to do it to. What he would do if given the chance. That would never happen though. Whatever his skill, or name the village called him by, fate was not that kind to him. It wouldn't allow for vengeance. It wouldn't even allow closure.

Maybe that was another reason he hated this stone so much. He hated all the other names that were carved there. Because this was the only place his father's name was. He had no separate stone or shrine like others. Even speaking his name was like asking for a beating in the Hyuuga household. Something Neji had found out after asking his uncle one to many times what happened. The feel of a hand cracking against his cheek and hitting the wooden floor was still with him.

No one even looked down at him. No one cared.

Now he was here alone again on the anniversary of his father's death.

Could he really fault them for that though? Even those on his team didn't understand. Tenten's family life was a mystery, Lee had his mom, and their sensei…he couldn't even believe that man had ever lost a pet, much less a person he cared about.

A part of him was glad none of them had experienced what he did though. Part of him didn't want anyone else to feel this, except those who deserved it. Another part hated them for it. For not understanding, and giving him strange looks when he spoke about fate. As if they really knew what it was like to be controlled that way, and he was the one who got it wrong.

The cold air mixed with sweat, creating a blanket of ice and forcing a powerful shudder to run up Neji's back. His eyes active, he could see everything. Sometimes it felt like he could see the future as well, and his stomach twisted as he knew nothing would change. That years from now, he would still be the only one here.

Bringing his left arm up and his right arm down, Neji came back to his starting position in front of the stone. His breath turning to steam as he shook his hair out of his face. Maybe he should have kept his headband on. Again he shook his head this time to dispel the thought. The only way to face his father was as who he really was. He couldn't wear something and pretend the scar that sealed both their fates wasn't there.

Besides, exposing it was forbidden. Something his clan hated, and that sent a spark up his spine that pushed out even the cold. One day, he'd show the whole village what his clan really was. One day he'd expose them and fate would do with him what it wanted. He'd have to get stronger though. If he was going to expose everything, he'd have to be strong enough that he could speak his father's name without shaming it.

Taking a deep breath, Neji eased it out through his nose, and a split second later began the motion. His hands became a blur as they struck and he counted out numbers.

"Two palm! Four palm! Six palm! Eight palm!" he yelled as his legs twisted and his feet stepped in time, seconds ahead of where they needed to be, giving him momentum as he spun. The chakra protruding from his fingertips sent slivers of pain up his arms, as if he were taking the needles in, rather than pushing them out. If he had an opponent, or something to block against, it was easier to ignore. One day, he'd reach a place where he no longer felt the chakra even leaving his body. It just would. "Sixteen palm! Thirty-two palm!" how much more could he go? He knew there was more he could do, but after hours of training in the cold, he could feel his legs going numb. His heart hammered inside his chest as if trying to escape. He could feel his fingers curling back, rather than pointing straight as they needed to.

_'They killed him.'_

"Sixty-four palm!" his voice sounded more like a screech, as he lashed out with one palm ahead of the other, and in his minds eye, watched as a member of the Main branch collapsed. He could see their blood leaving a trail in the wet grass, and his smile widened. A split second later though as he came with the follow through, the vision faded as his ankles twisted and with a cry, he pitched forward headlong into the stone with a sickening crack.

Mud squelched under him as he hit the ground and Neji groaned as his world spun and it seeped into his clothes, as if trying to suck him down into the earth. Looking up at his father's name, where his blood now smeared, he wished it would.

"You were…supposed to come back…" he whispered to no one in particular, as the rain howled and tree branches cracked like bones in the distance. "You were…supposed…to come back. You weren't…supposed to leave me alone. Father…"

It wasn't his father's fault though. How could he have known they would kill him? His father had always been angry at his brother, but at the same time he so openly expressed it that he must have believed he wasn't in real danger. He trusted his brother to at least not kill him. Hurt him, yes. Shame him, repeatedly. But he trusted him to at least honor that he had someone else that needed him. That he was the only one Neji had…

"Neji!" a booming voice that could compete with thunder sent Neji's now deactivated eyes widening, and he forced himself up to his knees with shaking arms; refusing to look over his shoulder.

_'Please not now. Please not him! Anyone but him. Anytime but this! Please!'_ but once again, fate ignored his plea and whoever molded it laughed in his face.

"Neji, what are you doing out here?" something twisted inside of him at his sensei's voice, and his hands bit into the earth as if steeling himself against attacking.

"I was…training…" he wheezed, hastily wiping the blood from his face, only to smear it closer to his eyes the rain was stinging. "There's nothing wrong…with that…"

"In this weather." it wasn't a question as Guy put a hand on Neji's shoulder to help him up. Neji jerked out of his hold, nearly collapsing back to the ground as the cold wrapped around his legs like a blanket of needles. "I know I always tell all of you to push yourselves as hard as you can, but there is a limit…"

"I'm fine." Neji snapped, as he finally met his teacher's eyes. Instantly, something infected his blood, and it felt as if every fiber of his being was vibrating as he looked at the man. As always, he was dressed in that ridiculous outfit and a normal jounin vest as if that made it any better. There was always a hint of a smile in his eyes if not on his face, and if he so much as breathed the word 'youth' Neji was going to scream. All of a sudden, he hated this man. He hated him almost as much as he hated the Main branch, because he could stand there smiling like that, and acting as if his smile wasn't paid for in blood.

"Neji, you're shaking…" Guy said, this time holding onto Neji's arm and refusing to let go as he helped him to his feet. "You need to get inside, before…"

"Before what? Before they notice I'm gone?" Neji spat, trying and failing to pull away and nearly slipping down into the mud. If his sensei hadn't been holding his arm he would have. Still, he would have preferred the feel of hitting the ground, to being anywhere near this man.

"Your uncle will be worried, but…"

"That's almost as big of a joke as you." the words the came out before he could stop them, and Neji felt everything inside him tense as he waited for a backhand across the face or some kind of punishment.

"You don't have to go home yet if you don't want to. But you need to get out of the rain. You've been out here for too long." Guy said, as if he hadn't heard the dig, and what started twisting earlier inside him now dug deeper until Neji felt as if this hatred would protrude from his skin.

"I told you I'm fine! I don't need anyone babysitting me like those other idiots!" he'd been on his own long enough. He didn't need someone trying to monitor him now. That was perhaps the one grace at his home. As long as he did his chores and kept his head down, no one cared what he did.

Guy's eyes darkened.

"If I thought you were in need of a babysitter, I would have sent you back to the academy!" there was an unfamiliar bite in Guy's voice. Not angry, but something Neji couldn't place. Probably because he insulted his teammates. Then it softened and Neji felt something painful pressing against the palm of his hand. A second later, he realized it was his own nails digging in and creating small rivers of red.

His teacher sighed, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Neji, I know what today is."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and his breath caught as he stared at his teacher. How did he know? Did Hiashi tell him? No. His uncle wouldn't have said anything, and Neji knew he never had. As far as his teammates were concerned, his father was simply gone. That could mean anything from a mission, to the truth. Then again, it wasn't unlikely his sensei would know something like this…but to know the actual date?

"Leave." this time, Neji managed to pull away, and took a step back closer to the stone.

"I'm not going to leave you out here alone! Your father wouldn't want you to risk your health like this and neither do I! You need…"

"Don't…tell me what I need!" Neji snarled. "Don't…even pretend to know what it is I need! You have no idea! Absolutely none!" his voice was louder than he'd ever imagined it, and he wished his sensei would hit him. He wished he'd start a fight so he'd have an excuse to attack. That's all he wanted right now. To fight. Forget. To make someone else hurt. It was sick he knew, but he wanted someone else to hurt right now. Hurt just as much as he was or even worse. He didn't care if it was only physical. Anything was better than being the only one who went through this. Others had lost their parents and friends, but no one was forced to forget them. No one wasn't allowed to even say a prayer at a shrine for them because their entire family wanted to forget. And he was so sick, of being the one who had to.

"I understand Neji. Whether you believe me or not, I do…"

"How?" his voice rivaled the lightning and his fingers curled to attack as something hot pricked his eyes and words he couldn't stop spilled out. "How could you possibly understand how I feel or what I need? You've never lost anyone! You're so happy all the time! You say you understand but you don't! If you had ever lost someone and it hurt this much, you couldn't ever be happy again!"

It hurt. More than he'd ever wanted to admit, the memory of his father and knowing what should have been, was more painful than having the seal activated. It was worse than any beating he'd ever received and he wished someone would hit him again. He wished there was another reason for why his chest felt like it was going to cave in and he wanted to scream. He wished, and he positioned himself as if to attack; hoping to prompt Guy to do so.

Instead, for a brief second, he saw the light go out in his sensei's eyes, and something distant and dark replaced it. It reminded him of the look his father had before he left. Then suddenly he felt strong arms wrapping around him. Pulling him into an embrace and his face was pressed against the slick green surface of Guy's chest.

"I understand, Neji. More than you know."

The boy shook his head, trying to push away, and at the same time, a part of him wanted to hold on. He hated that part. That childish part that wanted someone to make it better, and most of all, he hated the part that wanted this hug. He wasn't someone who enjoyed touching, or even being close to others. It wasn't comfortable. It was pathetic. Weak.

But there was nothing weak, soft, or even comforting and encouraging like the ones he'd rolled his eyes at his teammates receiving. It was something fiercely protective, and warm. Something that ached of knowing how he felt and having been there before. He didn't believe it though. Someone like this couldn't even begin to understand what loss was.

"I know how much it hurts…I do. We've all lost people, Neji. We've all lost those precious to us and I've been exactly where you are now."

"That's a lie…" Neji's voice was muffled, and he struggled to keep his arms to his sides. "You don't…how could you…you're always smiling, and acting as if the world is right and whatever isn't right with it, you can fix. You have no idea…everyone you care about is still alive. You've never…"

If possible the hug became stronger before it eased and Neji felt the warmth begin to dispel like his breath in the air. A hand remained on his shoulder though, as he was turned back to the stone. Neji bit his cheek to keep from looking away. His father's name was now cleaned of blood, and it blurred in his vision as rain entered his eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear them.

"I have Neji…though I will admit, I was a little older than you." Guy said as he took a step forward, and near the edge where Neji had kicked earlier, his fingers brushed over several names, resting over two in particular.

Neji came closer, squinting as he tried to read and as soon as he did, it felt like something cold had stabbed through him.

Might Masaru and Might Ryoko.

He looked up at his teacher, his jaw clenched and questions began swarming through his mind as he tried to make sense of the names on the stone, and the mixed expression on Guy's face. There was something guarded there, but at the same time, completely exposed…almost broken.

"…How old…" the question came out before he could stop it, and he looked away as Guy looked over.

"Eight."

Neji's eyes widened slightly, then narrowed as he tried to remember that he had been even younger.

"I know what you're thinking, that at least I had more time with them than you had with your father. And you're right. Year wise, I had more time. But this was during the wars, and even before I was put on a team, I hardly saw them." there was no self-pity in his voice as he spoke, only a hint of memories and longing. "They were amazing though, and I always believed that nothing could hurt them. That even if they came back from a mission beat up and bloodied, they could always beat the odds." he smiled, and Neji's chest clenched.

He'd believed that about his father to. All children did at one time. Then they grew up.

"Then they died." the words were colder than Neji meant them to be, and he bit his tongue. Guy only nodded.

"Yes. I still don't know everything that happened, but they were killed within days of each other on a mission." his voice was thick, and his hand trembled against the stone, before calming. "Their bodies…had to be destroyed out in the field. Their teammates couldn't afford anything that would slow them down…and..." he stopped short. As if about to reveal some gruesome detail, then decided against it at the last second. "I was on a mission myself when it happened and when I found out…I was so angry. Angry at them for dying. Angry at their team for at least not bringing them back. Angry at Lord Hokage, for sending them out…"

Neji nodded. At four, it was hard to understand exactly what had happened to his father. But when he finally did, it felt like he'd entered into a haze and was still trapped inside of it.

"Mostly I was angry at myself for not being there to stop it...and...well if you can imagine it, I actually had quite a temper!" he laughed as if the idea were unthinkable, but it was a hollow sound. "So I snapped at people I cared about. I pushed them away, and I let myself become lost. Fortunately, I had teammates that were just as stubborn as yours, and my sensei was possibly even more stubborn than I am now!"

He smiled, but his voice had cracked over the words 'teammates' and 'sensei'. Were they gone too? Were their names written on this stone as well?

Neji wasn't sure, but his sensei's voice made him hate himself for ever wanting something like that for someone else. Even if it was so they'd understand. But now he was the one who didn't understand. If Guy really had lost these people, if he'd really been that angry…how did he get to where he was now? Even if he had his team, how did he ever get to where it didn't hurt?

From the way his fingers traced the stone though, Neji knew that wasn't the case. He wasn't at a place where it didn't hurt…maybe it always hurt. Then how…

"You can't let the past control you. You can't let 'what if's and 'could have been's' stop you from living your life now. You just can't…otherwise, their sacrifice doesn't mean what it should."

"And what should it mean?" Neji snapped, though now his tone lacked its normal venom. "That they saved cowards who get to live while we're left alone?" his voice cracked, and again hot rain touched his eyes. He wiped at them furiously, but they kept filling up, and if his legs would move he'd have run.

He didn't want this right now. He didn't want to be seen like this, or look at other names, and know what happened. He didn't want to feel relieved because someone else could understand, when now he didn't want this for anyone else. He didn't…

Then the warmth was back, and once again it felt as if Guy was trying to protect him from the rain and everything else in the world. This time though, his arms moved in spite of himself, and Neji felt them wrapping around his sensei.

"You're not alone, Neji! You have your team and your family…despite what you think, I know there are some hurting over this just as much as you are."

Neji shook his head. That was a joke. But he didn't have the energy to call his sensei out on it. Not right now. He probably really believed it too.

"I know that probably doesn't make things any better. I don't expect it to right now. But you're not alone! Never think that you are."

"I miss him…" the words were more sobbed than spoken and Neji wished he could disappear. "I miss him so much…I just…I hate my uncle! I hate him! He's the one that shouldn't be here! He's the one who…" part of him was waiting for the seal to activate as he spoke, but another part didn't care. Another childish part wanted to believe that right now nothing outside could hurt him. For several minutes, nothing was said as Guy held him. Letting him sob and rant without rebuke or even comforting words.

Sometimes that's all he needed. Not to be shushed or told everything would be alright, or false promises of making things better. He needed to know instead that he wasn't alone and that there were times he could grieve, and someone he could grieve with even if no one else would. He never expected that person to be his sensei though. This big, loud, fool…he never expected it.

After a few more minutes, Guy's hand rested on Neji's head much in the same way his father's had once, and he bit his lip to contain another sob.

"Your father loved you. More than anything he loved you. He wouldn't want you to waste your life hating on his behalf. He'd want you to move on and grow stronger." his grip tightened and Neji buried his face further into Guy's chest. "But there's nothing wrong with grieving. Sometimes we need too. There's nothing wrong with missing him or wishing he was here, and forgetting him is impossible. If you were to do that it'd hurt even worse than what you're feeling now."

It would have been easier if everyone in his clan didn't want him to forget. As if they were trying to erase a stain from their memory, and had to take any good ones he had as well. He could remember around his team though…at least there was that until the day came where he exposed his clan for what it was. Fate had granted him this much at least.

"How…did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You don't…seem like you've ever lost anyone. You're always so happy…but if you…" he wanted to say, 'if you cared'. But the words stuck in his throat.

There was a moment of silence between them that the wind filled up and Neji shivered as ice water pelted his skin.

"There's no easy way to do it and if I hadn't had my team, I don't think I would have been able too. But it helps to remember who they were and that they wouldn't want you to stay in one place, or stop living just because they weren't there." he held him tighter, rubbing Neji's back as another hiccupped sob came. "You have to move on. That doesn't mean you ever forget them, but as hard as it is, you have to make the decision to become stronger from it, and not push others away. After all, the best way to treat a wound isn't to let the infection fester, it's to let someone else clean it out."

But what if the infection was all he felt like he had? What if that was the only thing keeping him going?

"Your father wouldn't want you to do this to yourself, Neji. He wouldn't want you to feel alone. Especially when you're not."

"You keep talking like you knew my father…"

"That's because I did." Guy chuckled, and Neji looked up with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I think the first time I met him I was six when he pulled me out of a fight…" he laughed again at the memory. "He was a lot like my father actually. Apparently 'they had it coming' wasn't something either of them bought."

"What…happened?" his teeth chattered, and he hoped that hid any desperation in the question. No one had ever talked this openly about his father. He had never even met his father's old teammates. Maybe this was another gift from fate?

Guy smiled, and wiped some more of Neji's tears with his thumb.

"Tell you what, lets get you inside first, and then I'll tell you."

"But…"

"The training hall is still open, and that's a much better place to practice than out here. Besides, we need to get that cut on your forehead looked at! I haven't seen one that bad since Tenten chased you and Lee around with kunai!"

Neji inwardly groaned wishing he could forget that incident. How was he supposed to know she was that fast when angry?

Before he could say anything though, he found himself being scooped up like a small child, and against his will he curled in towards the warmth, trying to ignore the heat on his face.

"I can walk. I don't need you to carry me."

"I know, but if you plan on training more tonight at least give your legs some kind of rest." it was Guy's way of seeing right through his bluff to the fact his legs felt like lead.

Neji growled, but made no move to try and push away. With his luck he'd probably fall and crack his head. And he didn't want Guy to have any excuse to bring him home. Not yet. He wanted to hear the story about his father, and if that was only the first time they met, then whatever other ones there were as well. Suddenly a thought hit him that hadn't before and he looked up as they left the field.

"How did you find me?" he wanted ask as well why Guy was even looking for him. It was then he noticed that there was no way Guy would have been as soaked as he was if he had only been outside before finding him and their talk. He must have been out hours ago…

"I had a feeling where you'd be. You were so quiet during training today that I was worried about you."

"So you followed me?"

"I watched you. But it looked like you needed your privacy for awhile. Still…in retrospect I should have gotten you inside a long time ago!" a sheepish look crossed Guy's face and Neji knew he got sick from this, his sensei would blame himself.

Secretly, Neji joined him in feeling foolish. His sensei had been so close and he hadn't even been able to see or sense him and he believed him when he'd first run out, as if he'd just gotten there. Some genius he was. Then again, he was a jounin. Maybe it wasn't that pathetic.

"You said…you knew him…have you ever been there before?" it wasn't a question he'd normally ask, but as their trip continued, he wanted to know.

"I've come to pay respects a few times, but I try not to go there often. I spent enough time there growing up and I'd much rather focus on what I have in life, than what was lost in death."

Neji nodded almost to himself, but it wasn't so much at his sensei's words as what they implied. His sensei had been there before to pay respects not only to those he lost, but to his father as well. How many times had he really gone though? To Guy, a few could mean anything from a two mile race, to walking on his hands around the village five hundred times. Were there times he had gone and they'd missed each other? Every year Neji came, but it was only later in the evening when he could get away. Guy was an early riser as well…maybe he went in the morning, and when Neji came later, it completed what could almost be called a cycle.

Part of Neji wondered if he wasn't a continuation of a different cycle as well. He wondered if his sensei trained before the stone as well. If he cried and fell with no one there. He wondered if Guy's sensei had ever found him, and picked him up much in the same way.

Shaking his head, Neji pushed the thoughts away as the sky rumbled overhead and his sensei's heartbeat played inside his ears. He knew he should say he was sorry about what he said earlier. Or at least apologize for kicking the stone. Instead, a whispered 'thank you', was all that slipped out. Hopefully his sensei didn't hear him...but from the look on Guy's face he knew he had.

"You're never alone, Neji, don't you forget that. Whether you want me there or not, I won't ever leave you." he smiled. "And even if you can't see him, I know your father is exactly the same way."

**The End**

A/N: I'm a sucker for father/son big brother/little brother fluff with these two, I really am. I really hope you guys enjoyed the story and let me know what you thought.

Be Blessed

Your friend

innocent-rebel


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